Maya! the illusion..

Lost is how I am feeling …

There cannot be any reason ever for me to feel complete. I have to just ‘be’, period! When there arises a need for me to find a reason or a purpose to my being, when my mortal self is in search of a ‘cling’ – I am incomplete within. Swayyam therefore cannot and will not become a cling that I will own, but it will just be, because it’s meant to be that way. And Swayyam will ‘be’ when it is not mine and is everyone’s to be…Swayyam - by oneself… the home for the elderly…

And, again, the need to look good, or attractive is the need for acceptance and approval from the outside, which stems from a deeper need for security within, which again is the bottom-line of not being. The inside of me does not approve neither accepts me the way I am, and, therefore there arises a need to get it from outside, - approval, which is a big illusion anyways!

The balance is to attain a state of being and not doing. And ironically this being will only come about by doing. To build that security deep within myself, is to build a deep love for myself; unconditional love. My body or my outer appearances do not have a place in such kind loving. It is to love my soul, as it is and my soul has no form, its just there. This calls for a brutal elimination of what the society calls ‘acceptable’ - with no benchmarks and no references to adhere to. In this elimination is receiving and in such unadulterated receiving is unconditional giving and thus ‘being’ …..

Right now I am feeling lost, lost with all this chaos and drama of being within and within and without the world I live in. The constant tug of war with and in what the enlightened call ’ Maya’ – Illusion!